candles

This is my brother and the chocolate honey moon crater birthday cake he made me. I have to remember days like that when I have days like today.

who knew there were so many ways to spell that word

Yesterday I made a bastardisation of a lasagna. I just wanted to use my home-grown monster chilli:



That's right, let's look at my chilli from another angle:


I am so proud. So far my plant has only produced one chilli. This was despite numerous attempts at SABOTAGE from Hawk.

It was delicious and yum but today I was wondering how if one wasn't to merely guess at shit with flagrant shortcutting (ready-chopped mushrooms, ready-grated cheese, Asda smart price chopped tomatoes) one might make a proper béchamel sauce. I love this video. I'm going to go and watch it again now.

say something

Apologies in advance as I've just been out drinking in town with my cousin and sister. Probably if there is ever a time not to be trying to write it would be after the point where your limbs start getting heavy to move and your going "hey, look at this wooden gold painted picture frame I got in the charity shop!" like it's a good thing. My cousin lives in Norfolk and was doing something work related in London. They put her up in a really good hotel in Victoria. You know how some people slip glasses or cutlery in to their bags? I wanted the sofa. If there was a way I could have subtly got that home on the tube I would have.


Speaking of the tube, this evening there was a middle aged napping, disheveled gent carrying some low budget supermarket bags and the biggest Dior bag I've ever seen. Not that I have seen too many, you understand. It was so out of place. I'd love to know what was in there.


...............................

I tried to write a blog whilst on holiday the other day but it was a major fail. I don't know how it works in internet phone land but it stuck my blog here (below):


On holiday



I've gone online on my phone for the first time (apart from the 56 million times it connects by itself sitting on a dresser and i get charged for being on a homepage for 8 hours). It's quite a long process. Just realised i don't know how to do paragraph breaks. The shower here is truly bad but while i'm in it i'm trying not to think about what is blocking it. I can't even unclog my own without gagging and wearing gloves. So, lots of good holiday stuff which i'm too lazy to write about now. Plus this keeps jumping about and i don't know what's going on. Last night i dreamt i was in the sea with some cousins and i accidentally let go of one of their pink dora the explorer balloon. He was really pissed off with me and so i stormed out dramatically then had to watch everyone having fun whilst kicking stuff about at the side. In real life my cousin is a 24 year old diver. We've never had a row. The end!
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you're only young but you're gonna die

After a long boiling day I'm finally sitting on the sofa, breeze blowing in from the window along with the sounds of rolling thunder. BLISS!

cheep

My friend is travelling around the world. She emailed me from Cambodia to give me the devastating news that birdsong is being taken off air.

The Bodyguard

This is a picture of my legs reflected in the telly coming out of Whitney Houston's screaming face. I know this is scraping the barrel of blogging but I don't know how people get the energy to actually write proper stuff. I've just been staring at my two sentences wondering where to go next. Where does one go from a picture of their legs coming out of Whitney's face?

I think I might need to sleep on it.

True Porcupines

This is a text I received last night from my friend Mike, who is possibly a bit too involved in The Apprentice:


I think your presence is without one shadow of a doubt immense. I believe you have the qualities to excel in any managerial role you're given. You have proven yourself to be a lady of true porcupines, which undoubtedly speaks volumes.



(lovely pic stolen from the internet)

Ghosts

People behind me are discussing their Louis Vuitton handbags and the £475 dress they have just bought in Ghost and the ring from Tiffanys. Then every so often some other male twit chips in with 'funny' comments like 'you've been had!'. Gaaah why oh why oh why did I forget to charge my Ipod?

Fortunately i've been lucky enough to be landed with some normal people on my desk and we have now exchanged a Look.

So here I sit, battering my calculator and then thinking maybe this would have been easier in Excel. You know, where figures are worked out for you and it has the capacity to go up to hundreds of millions (I only need one hundred and twenty one million though). Listening to plonkers yabbering and wishing I was back outside in the sunshine on a bench in the park with the Hawk.

lemon cravings and a headache

I can barely wait until I'm home before I kick my shoes away and stand barefoot in cold grass sprinkled with daisies and buttercups. Ideally this is topped off with an ice cold beer. I'm not sure what stock I've descended from, but I'm guessing it's not royalty.
p.s. today I had to swap beer with G & T due to severe monthly citrus cravings. I guess it's healthier than chocolate fudge brownie (but i'd take that too).

Monday morning

blues